So 2010 hasnt been the best year for me. The love of my life, the person I believed I would marry and be with forever, broke up with me. We get along now, and who knows, maybe one day in the future, we will be together again, but I feel like there are a few things I need to work out within myself before I can make it to that point again.
With that, my first love came into my life, messed things up, and just left like it was no big deal. I hate him, and this is the lst day I will even dwell on that. I'll think about it tonight, and let it go, forever...
And a guy I have been dating for 2 monthes broke up with me 2 nights ago. He is so cool, it hurt so bad. But we are going to stay friends. In all reality, as much as I cared about him and everything, being friends is the best for us.
This year coming up, I'm going to focus on two people, and two people only. First, my son. He pretty much isnt where he needs to be in life, possibly autistic. And I am learning to live with that. He is over emotional at times. But I dont think I would want him to be "normal" if I got the chance to change it. He is absolutly perfect the way he is. I love you more than anything in the world Blake!!
The second person: Me. I spend so much time doing everything for everyone else. I never really do anything for me. I hurt, a lot. This year, I am doing me. I need to be back to the person I was. I have lost myself, learned a lot along the way, but now, I just want to be me again. And this year, I will work on that.
I am finally realizing I deserve to be happy. And I am going to try and be happy. I'm going to try to move out this year, and get my liscence. Really, just be absolutly independant. Thats what I want. I want me and Blake to be happy, something that cant truly happen living here.
I hope everyone has a safe new years eve. Heres to leaving the past mistakes behind.
Lacy
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